A baby!

Yep its semi-official, we are having a baby. I say "semi" as we haven't officially told family yet. We told the kids last night, I sent my mum an email today (lol), and I figure the 2 big kids will tell my MIL today whist they are out together.

I will be 13 weeks tomorrow. I have been sick (oh, so sick), tired and of course this is number 5 so life is pretty busy already. Bubs is due late October, only 2.5 weeks after my first niece or nephew is due :). Very exciting to be sharing this with my little sister.

I mentioned before I was torn about having another baby. Our lost bubs EDD came and went over Christmas 2010 and after that I felt like trying for a month or 2 and if it happened then great.

Our youngest will be 3.5yo when bub is born, the others 5.5yo, 7yo and 9yo. It is such a big gap for us, although I know its not huge, I am not sure that I could go "back to baby" after any bigger gap.

I am lucky, I am sure I will complain about pregnancy discomforts, I will stress about the labour and birth (thats right it hurts!!!)............but I know that all going well I will enjoy more than anything holding my newborn child in my arms and sharing him/her with my husband and its siblings.

Thanks to those online friends that have offered congratulations and support for this pregnancy.

An extra huge hug and thanks to those (like Tracy and Trudie) who offered me words of support since the loss of our last bub. xoxo

Again I have had a long absence...

I am feeling nervous....excited....terrified....estatic....scared....

Wish me luck and think of me this week...fingers crossed next week bring good news for me and my family.

Shhhh....

Buttons

I bought some buttons from an online store called Jack O Bindi, they are self cover buttons and they are a lot of fun. I have made Christmas presents.....

Hair ties, I think 3 or 4 of these smaller pigtail sets will go to my husbands cousins little girl (the closest thing my kids have to a cousin). The rest.....I don't know, maybe a local market?

And fridge magnets. I really like these. I made sets of 4 and bought some little tins from the reject shop to put them in, a reasonably priced gift, that is handmade and practical....well I think anyway. 

Kitchen Tiles

I just realised I never put photos up of our new tiled splashback. Now it is nothing spectacular, in fact it is quiet plain, but it only cost us $40 which is great when you are on a super tight budget.

It looks great, well I think so, and it takes us one step closer to a finished kitchen.

The rangehood needs to be hooked up and the cover put on, a powerpoint needs installing and we are getting a built in microwave (when we can) to finish the oven tower unit. Oh and bar stools, we really need some bar stools. I really like white stools....I like the look of these and the wipe'ability of metal is appealing...

The price tags are not always as appealing.

DSi XL Roll Up Padded Case

DSi XL Roll up Padded Case

So what do you think? I love it, it's the first draft of my pattern so its not perfect but I am very happy that it turned out pretty much as I imagined. Here it is empty...

And here is from every other angle...

 Closed

I used my KAM snap press for the closure. The fabric is Amy Butler Midwest Modern.

 Unsnapped

I used one fabric for the outer and inner main part, and another fabric for the flap and pockets. I used 200wt fleece for padding.

 Open

I needed to make the game pockets and pen holder a little tighter, they work but I would be more comfortable if everything was really snug.

Side View

I don't think when its all rolled up that there is much chance of things falling out but when opening it I feel the games could slip.

Thanks again to Tracy for the link to her DS Pouch, it was very helpful to see how you made yours. http://madquilter.blogspot.com/2009/02/nintendo-ds-pouch-tutorial.html

I want to make...

I am living out my childhood fantasy of owning a Gameboy...well almost a Gameboy. Finally at the age of 30 I have bought myself a Nintendo DSi XL.

As child I wanted a Gameboy for years, I was desperate, every Christmas and birthday I asked for one...but I never got one.

My little sister got one, after she went overseas with our mum and her dad (big sis and I were teenagers and got left at home), I was seriously devastated and I obviously still have issues so please don't laugh ;).

I got 2 games with the unit, Toy Story 3 and James Cameron's Avatar. I have played both, and they are OK but would really like tetris, lol.

 I also got headphones, an extra stylus (so 3 all up), a USB charger (that is more design than function) and a plastic hard case.

I chose Bronze as when I laybyed it they only had that or burgandy.

I want to make a little bag for it so if I decide to take it places with me it wont get destroyed. Also I would like to keep all the accessories with it in one place.

I guess the requirements would be a firm fitting, padded bag with pockets for accessories. Also a little sleeve to store the games in, for such little games they come in pretty big cases, lol. Might start taking some measurements now.

ETA...and link from the beautiful Tracy who designed a pouch for her standard sized DS. She has a tutorial on her blog which will be a great starting point for me. http://madquilter.blogspot.com/2009/02/nintendo-ds-pouch-tutorial.html

Keeping Secrets

I have discovered recently that it can be hard to keep a secret, even one that you never intended to be a secret in the first place.

In March I got pregnant, it should of been a joyous thing, it should of been a happy time, but it wasn't. My husband was cranky and I was feeling scared more than excited (although yes I was a little excited). We were using contraception and not planning anymore children.

With all the kids we didn't share our pregnancy news with everyone until we were 3 months along, and we treated this just the same. Although I told my big sister and a good friend....and during the stress of what followed I turned online for support.

I felt sick for about 2 weeks, and then it stopped and I had some spotting. I knew in my heart that things weren't right but didn't really want to believe it. I went in for an ultrasound and the dates didn't match up, there was only a sac, no baby. I was booked in for a scan a week later, I had more spotting, I felt like my heart was breaking.

That was one of the longest weeks of my life.

The follow up scan confirmed that the pregnancy was not progressing, I had what is called a blighted ovum. The next night, my miscarriage started, like my heart now accepted what my body already knew. I was 8.5 weeks pregnant.

The miscarriage was horrendous, so much blood, clots so big I found it hard to cope but I stayed home and tried to trust my body. This continued on for 2 days after which it slowed down. I went to my Doctor and was told that the bleeding should stop after a few days. Little did I know that this process was only just beginning.

On my 30th birthday, a week after the miscarriage started, I was back at the Doctor, I had a clot stuck in my cervix and needed a D&C. You would think that this would be easy to get, but no, I was a patient in the public health system and unless I presented myself to emergency I would have to wait. So I waited.

4 weeks after my miscarriage started I had my D&C. My big sister drove me to the hospital while my husband stayed at home with the kids. I was scared and emotional but by that point I just wanted it all over, it had been 5 weeks since I had known for sure that the pregnancy was over. I had been bleeding on and off for that whole time, dealing with the emotions of things being in limbo....I was over it.

Once the D&C was over I bled on and off for about 1.5 weeks and then a few days later got my period. Then things were, well, "normal" again. Except for me, I found it very hard to deal with my emotions.....I still do.

When I got pregnant I saw a baby, instantly for me I saw the end result. I am not sure if I am still grieving or truely depressed, I cry almost everyday. As my EDD (Christmas) comes up I feel my heart breaking all over again. I think I want another baby, but making the decision to have another baby is a hard one, my husband is not keen, we already have 4 and struggle sometimes.

I want so bad for this not to be my last experience with pregnancy, I want a positive memory to erase the ones I have right now. I want a baby, but in saying that, do I want another child?

We still have not told family and most of our friends what we went through......and now after all this time how would we bring it up. My husband can forget, but I can not. Maybe one day, when thinking about it doesnt make me cry I will be able to tell them.